And You'll Get Sick Anyway
by SaltyJak
Summary: Part 2 of 2 in these little flu season one-shots. I'll warn you here and in the story, I wrote this after a flash of inspiration hit me, so be prepared for many references and broken fourth walls. It gets weird. Now, seeing as how you're all still here... Enjoy.


A/N: Part two of the flu season fics(which is what I'm calling them until I figure out something more epic). Be forewarned, attempts at humor and broken fourth walls are ahead. Also... Nah, you know what? You'll see...

* * *

><p>"Atchoo!"<p>

He really hoped it was just an itch in her nose.

"Atchoo!"

Or just a random sneeze.

"Atchoo!"

It was two days ago that they had both gotten flu shots.

"Ugh..."

It wasn't a random sneeze. Or an itch.

He heard her sniffling from her place on the couch.

It was the flu.

"Timmy?" she sounded odd. Almost... vulnerable?

Still, it was better for her that she got the shot, at least now she would be better protected from the flu. Once she recovered.

"Coming!"

He heard that you sometimes got sick from the shot they gave you, especially if your immune system was already somewhat weakened. But she hadn't seemed sick recently, maybe she was good at hiding it?

Now he found himself at her side almost constantly, not that he was complaining. Taking care of Vicky meant two things: One, he could spend plenty of time with her, even if she was sick. And two, she called his school and said _he_ had the flu, so he didn't have to go to school and deal with Crocker, Francis, or anyone that usually got on his nerves.

"How're you feeling?"

"Like I've got the flu." Vicky sat on the large couch wrapped in a warm blanket, beneath which she wore a green tank-top and pink pajama pants that almost completely covered her feet when she walked. "How do _you_ feel?"

"Fine."

"Of course you do..." Vicky pouted and looked away.

"Hey..." Timmy sat on the couch and slid over next to Vicky, then lifted her arm and put it around himself. "It's not like I wanted you to get sick..." he leaned into her and felt her arm tighten around him just slightly. "And I _am_ doing my best to take care of you..."

She smiled at him then shoved him off the couch. "Make me some soup."

Timmy stood up and dusted himself off. "Alright, where's the kitchen?"

"I dunno. Ask Jeffrey."

"Jeffrey isn't here today."

"Then ask-"

"The rest of the staff isn't here either, just you and me."

"So it's just me and you in this big mansion together, no adult supervision?"

"Guess so. Why, whatcha thinkin' about?"

"...Nothing, just get my soup..." she thought about hinting at wanting to jump his bones, but he wouldn't have gotten the joke anyway.

Well, half joke.

He took out a hand drawn map of the mansion and disappeared down a hallway.

Timmy obviously still didn't know much about flirting or sexual innuendo, which she kept to a minimum anyway, but a girl has wants and needs, however strange they may be.

"Ugh... this flu must be clouding my judgment."

Granted, a twelve year old and an eighteen year old dating was already pretty far up the list when it came to strange, but certain aspects of her personality were coming to the surface more often lately, aspects she'd prefer to keep buried until Timmy was older.

Thankfully, they only manifested as playful innuendo, which, as stated previously, he didn't understand anyway.

Vicky groaned and laid down, turning over to face the back of the couch. She'd think more about this later, for now, she had a headache, and wanted to rest.

_Elsewhere..._

"Damnit! Why is this place so confusing?" Timmy found himself in yet another bathroom, one that was as big as the entire first floor of his house. He took out a pen and began drawing on his paper again. "Bathroom number... five. Who needs this many bathrooms?!" he had still yet to find the kitchen in his wanderings.

"Let's see... hm... knowing my luck, they probably have more than one kitchen, and I just haven't been lucky enough to find one..."

He made his way through an unusually long hallway before coming to a stop in front of a red ball rolling toward him. "What the?"

"Come play with us Timmy, forever and ever and ever."

Before him stood two twin girls in matching dresses.

"Oh. You know what? I'm gonna get outta here, that's what I'm gonna-" he stopped and focused on the girls, noticing a subtle difference in the way they looked: One had pink eyes, the other had green. "Cosmo, Wanda? That is _not_ funny!"

The two girls disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving his godparents laughing at him.

"Sorry Timmy! It was too hard to resist! Big, creepy mansion, long hallways, nobody else here? Too easy!"

"Yeah, sure. I wish we were in the kitchen." there was a poofing sound and Timmy found himself in a lavish kitchen. "Should've just done this in the first place..."

"So how's Vicky doing, Sport?"

Timmy had begun searching through the cabinets. "Sick. Caught the flu or something..."

"Is she getting better?"

"Dunno. She wants me to make her some soup, so here I find myself... what makes good soup anyway?"

"Well, usually people make chicken noodle soup when they're sick-"

"Oh! I know! Pick me!" Cosmo interrupted Wanda and had his hand in the air.

"...Cosmo?"

Cosmo appeared in the middle of the room sporting a chef's outfit and stirring various ingredients into a large cauldron. "The first thing we need is... fish!"

"Wha?"

A large, red, salmon-looking fish appeared above the pot, suddenly was diced up, and fell in.

"Ugh! What _is _that?!"

"Hm? The fish?"

"Yeah! It stinks!"

"Reekfish! Good for when you're sick!"

"Smells like it'll make you sick..." Timmy held his nose. "What's next?"

"Cheese!"

"Cheese?"

"Yep! We need cheese! Goat cheese to be precise!"

"Where am I gonna get goat cheese?"

"The pantry."

"I wish I had a complete map of this place so I knew where that was!" said map appeared in his hands, courtesy of Wanda.

"Timmy? Who're you talking to?" Vicky called out from what sounded like miles away in the mansion.

"Myself! This place is making me crazy! But I just found the kitchen, so I'm making your soup!"

"Thanks..."

"'Kay, so it looks like the pantry is... here!" he pointed to a small room that was several hundred feet from his current position, judging by the map. "On the third floor... Cosmo?"

"Sorry Timmy, I have to stay here and cook this soup!" Cosmo hurriedly stirred the soup with a comically large wooden spoon.

"Wanda?"

"Er... I have to-"

"Come with me."

"Alright..." Wanda followed him as he made his way out of the kitchen and back toward the living room. "Timmy? Where are we-"

"You should probably turn into a cat for this to work."

"Okay..." Wanda waved her... wand, and poofed into a pink cat. "Why exactly?"

"Because explaining to Vicky why I have a fairy following me around might be a little difficult, and because I need you to keep an eye on Vicky. Think you can do that for me?"

"Oh! Yeah, of course! I thought you wanted me to follow you through this creepy mansion! I can watch Vicky, no problem!"

"Thanks! I think..."

The two entered the living room to find Vicky lying on the couch. "Vicky?"

"Mm?" she mumbled from under the blanket.

"I have to go get a few things from the pantry... on the third floor... So I'm gonna leave Wanda here to keep you company, that alright?"

"Yeah... whatever..."

"Be back in a bit." Timmy turned her over slightly to plant a kiss on her cheek, then disappeared once more down a hallway.

Vicky released a sigh of content, then thought about what he said. "Who's Wanda?" she turned over to come face to face with the pink eyes of a pink cat.

"Meow?"

"Wanda?"

"Meow." the cat stepped forward and rubbed it's face on Vicky's, purring as it did.

Vicky extended her arm and scratched the cat's head. "You here to keep an eye on me?"

The cat responded by kneading the couch and curling up near Vicky's head, keeping one eye open and watching her.

Timmy, meanwhile, was doing his best to follow the map he was given. "Alright, a left here, two rights over here... and then... straight until the stairs... up two flights... and the pantry is... the last door on the left- Oof!"

He ran smack into a door with two crossed swords emblazoned on it.

"What the Hell? Swords...?" he tried the knob. "Locked. Of course."

Timmy backtracked down the hall and entered the first room he originally passed. Within sat a lone statue, a woman holding a vase on her shoulder. In the corner of the room sat a wooden box.

"Oh no, this better not be _that_ kind of mansion..." even as he said this, he was pulling the wooden box out of the corner and pushing it flush against the statue. "If this turns out to be-" he climbed onto the box. "The way I think it's gonna be-" he reached up and stuck his hand in the vase. "I'm gonna be really-" he pulled out a small object, which ended up being a small key. "Pissed..."

Returning to the hallway, he went back to the end. "Least I found the key to-"

The key didn't fit in the lock.

"Aw... come on!" examining the key revealed it to have a shield emblem on the top. "Looks like you win this round, Remy..."

_Back in the kitchen..._

Cosmo threw several chopped vegetables into the cauldron and tasted the soup. "Hmm... still needs that cheese though..."

In the living room, Vicky tossed and turned on the couch, occasionally bumping Wanda. "This couch is really uncomfortable to lie on all day..." she stood up and scooped Wanda into her arms. "C'mon, let's grab something to drink." After several minutes of wandering, Vicky arrived at the kitchen to find the cauldron with the still simmering soup in it. Though her one track, flu-addled mind paid little attention to this.

Wanda, however, stared at the cooking pot. _"Where did Cosmo go?"_

"We got... purple stuff, nasty-looking green stuff, soda, water... and no orange juice..."

Wanda rolled her eyes and took out her wand, giving it a light wave and causing a bottle of orange juice to tip out from behind the aforementioned 'purple stuff'. It wasn't breaking 'Da Rules', it was... bending them.

"Oh, thank goodness!" Vicky snatched the bottle and downed the entire thing in seconds. "I was so parched!" she tossed it haphazardly toward the trash... and missed completely. "C'mon Wanda, let's go back to the couch..." she sounded content now at least.

Cosmo burst out of one of the cupboards after they left. "Nope! No cheese in there either..."

Timmy was about as far from content as one could be while exploring a mansion right out of some weird survival horror game. "Alright... got the shield key, which led me to the armor key... after sticking precious gemstones in a tiger statue's eyes... and the frickin' armor key leads me to here?!" he found himself in a small study, within were two couches, a small writing table, two bookcases, a pedestal with _yet another_ key on it, and now, one very aggravated Timmy Turner.

He was aggravated because, besides the wild goose chase he was on to get _cheese_, of all things, he didn't know how to get out of the room he was in, at least, not with the damn key.

If he took the key, iron bars came down and sealed the only exit.

"Grr... who builds their house like this?!" he began pacing when an idea suddenly struck him. "I'm an idiot."

Not that idea.

"I'll just leave the armor key here and-" he snatched the key on the pedestal and replaced it with the key that had an armor emblem on it. "There!"

The iron bars never came down, so Timmy(wisely) ran out of the room and back to the door with the crossed swords.

"Okay! Open, Sesame!"

The key didn't fit in the lock.

"I hate everything." he headbutted the door.

_Back in the living room..._

Vicky sat on the couch, once again wrapped in a warm blanket, with Wanda curled up on her lap, quietly purring.

"Crap." she was currently flicking through TV channels.

"Tonight at eleven-"

"No."

"Flu season is hitting us like a ton of-"

"More crap." she sniffled and wiped her nose on the blanket.

"Oh, don't worry... I have THIS!"

"Nope."

"Got sumthin' that might intrest ya!"

"Don't think so."

"This is the sham-"

"Wow. All these channels, nothing but crap."

"My name is Buck, and I like to PARTY."

"Hmph..."

"The number of references in this story is Too Damn High!"

"You're too damn high... Atchoo!"

"Mrow."

"Thank you, I'll assume you said 'Bless you'."

_Back in wherever the Hell Timmy is..._

"Okay... I'm calm." he closely examined the key in his hand. It bore a small helmet on the end. "So, this must be the key to the helm door."

A door that Timmy now found himself standing in front of.

"Alright Remy, what's behind this door?" inserting the key in the hole and turning it, Timmy opened the door to find himself in a large, empty room, well, empty of everything except four small statues. The floor was predominantly black tile, except for four gold tiles forming the corners of a large square shape on the floor.

Timmy entered the room only for the door to shut and lock behind him. "Unsurprising."

By now, Timmy was becoming very genre-savvy. "I'm gonna need to push the statues onto the gold tiles, those ones are probably pressure plates."

He set about doing exactly this, and upon pushing the final statue onto the pressure plate, a small pedestal rose out from the middle of the floor with another key on it.

"This better be the right one..." snatching the key off the pedestal, he examined it. The top of the key bore a carving of two crossed swords. "Finally..."

Returning(hopefully for the last time) to the sword door, Timmy stuck the key in and turned it. The door opened into a long pantry that was packed with various foodstuffs. "Sweet! Now I just have to find the cheese."

He was about to start searching when something caught his eye: a treasure chest, not unlike one you'd expect to find on a pirate ship.

Momentarily forgetting his quest in favor of some alluring treasure or money(Vicky was starting to rub off on him), he approached the chest and gave a silent prayer to whoever would listen that it wasn't locked. Lifting the lid, a strange smell hit his nostrils and he stuck his hand in to pull out...

A Goat Cheese Wheel!

As he pulled said cheese wheel out, he was aware of a sudden 'Da Da Da Daaa!', which played from a small music box that he assumed was movement activated.

"Who keeps a single wheel of cheese in a treasure chest?" shrugging off the question he knew wouldn't be answered, Timmy made his way back through the mansion toward the kitchen.

Vicky, meanwhile, had become increasingly bored at Timmy's absence and was now whiling away her time with a video game.

"Wanda! Come on! At least try to play?!" Vicky stared at the pink cat who occasionally swatted the control stick of the controller in front of her.

"Mow?"

"C'mon! You're making us look bad!"

Wanda huffed, curled up, and went to sleep.

"Fine. I'll do this myself!"

Evidently, this sickness was _really_ clouding Vicky's judgment, though being stuck in a creepy mansion might have been affecting her as well.

Cosmo continued to stir the strange, foul-smelling concoction, though he was stirring the spoon with his foot now as he read a recipe book.

The door to the kitchen burst open. "Here. Cheese. Goat. Whatever."

"Ooh! Give it here!" Cosmo snatched the cheese wheel out of Timmy's hand and unwrapped it, giving it a big whiff. "Mmm... Cheese..." he then threw the entire wheel in and began stirring harder.

"So how long until the soup is done?"

"Well, it shouldn't take more than an hour, depending on how long it takes you to get me the last ingredient."

"Excuse me?" Timmy couldn't keep the anger out of his words, though Cosmo was completely oblivious to it.

"Yep. Just need one more thing."

"And if I get this 'one more thing' are you going to send me to get 'one more thing' when I return?!"

"Nope, last thing. Promise."

"Urgh... fine. What do you need?"

"Pumpkin."

"Are- are you serious?"

"Mm-hm. Pumpkin. Whole."

"Where am I supposed to find a pumpkin?" Timmy obviously forgot that it was currently October, meaning that nearly every store that sold produce would currently have pumpkins in stock.

Unfortunately, Cosmo, being Cosmo, wasn't intelligent enough to tell Timmy this. "I'll bet they have some in the larder!"

"And where is that?" Timmy dreaded the answer he was almost certain was coming.

"My money's on... the basement! That's where you can find larders in big houses like this."

"..."

"Well? Go on! You want your girlfriend to get better, don't you?"

Timmy walked off, mumbling something about Cosmo being smarter than he lets on and creepy basements.

"Wanda! I know you're a cat, but you could at least try to be enthusiastic about-" Vicky stopped and leaned backward into the couch, holding her head as she did. "Head rush..."

"How're you feeling now?"

Vicky leaned back more and hung her head upside-down over the back of the couch to stare at Timmy. "How do I look?"

Her face was paler than it was earlier and her eyes were slightly bloodshot. "Not great..."

"I figured as much..." she groaned and re-focused her attention on the TV. "How's the soup coming?"

"It's... getting there... need to go grab one more thing though. You okay here?" he grabbed her hand and rubbed her knuckles gently, causing her to pull his hand over to her face and cup her cheek. "You're burning up..."

"Bones are sore too..."

"No question, you definitely have the flu. Lie down here on the couch."

Vicky crossed her arms and looked away. "I don't want to. I'm not so sick that I can't play video games!"

"Please? For me?"

Vicky continued to look away. She knew this game and wasn't going to fall for it, not this time... she chanced a look to find Timmy staring at her with watery puppy-dog eyes. _"Dammit!" _"Fine." she dropped onto the couch, narrowly missing Wanda.

"Good." Timmy leaned over her and kissed her forehead, causing her to blush and shoo him away with her hand. "Hopefully, I'll be back soon..."

Timmy departed, he hoped, for the final time.

"Ugh... who ever heard of fish/goat cheese/pumpkin soup?!"

Vicky stared at Timmy as he left. "Wha?" then shook her head, applying what she heard to the flu making her crazy once again.

_Several minutes of wandering later..._

"Okay... it's just a creepy basement... no big deal..." Timmy currently found himself in, as he described, a dark and creepy basement.

It contrasted heavily with the rest of the look and feel of the mansion, where the upstairs was well-lit and sprawling, the basement felt... wrong. It was dark, spiderwebs hung from the archways, there was a damp smell emanating from all around him, and it looked like no one had been down there in decades.

"It's fine. Just gotta find a pumpkin, then be on my way." he hoped talking to himself would relieve some of the tension.

It didn't.

"Alrighty then..." he took out his map. "If I were the larder... where would I be?" Scanning the map, he saw that the room he was looking for shared the same general area as the pantry, in fact, it was in exactly the same place, just in the basement, rather than the third floor. "If I have to deal with more keys..."

Timmy maneuvered his way through various metal bars and half-collapsed archways, expecting a mutant lizard man or something to leap out and rip his face off. "Should've brought a weapon... or Wanda... have her nag anything down here to death..." he chuckled lightly, causing it to echo through all the chambers of the dungeon he found himself in. When his chuckle returned, it was distorted and wrong, bringing a shiver to his spine.

"_Come on! Grow a spine! You're doing this for Vicky, right?! Just think about that... think about how she'll _reward_ you when you get back to her with the soup!" _"She'll... hug me?" Timmy could sense his conscience facepalm. "What?" _"Yeah, sure, hugs. Just man up and get the damn pumpkin... I'm gonna go do some stuff." _"Wait! I need you! Come on!" _"Can't hear you. Doing stuff."_

Timmy briefly wondered if his conscience was more perverted than he was.

After several more minutes of wandering(and screaming like a girl upon seeing a spider the size of his fist), Timmy arrived at the door to the larder, conveniently embossed with two crossed swords. "At least I kept the key..." sticking the key in the lock and whispering a silent 'Thank You' as it fit, Timmy pulled open the door to find the larder to be in a similar state to the pantry. Multiple foodstuffs could be found on the shelves, but Timmy already knew where to go.

Much like the pantry, the larder had a large treasure chest in the back, up against the wall. He opened it to find a pumpkin slightly smaller than his head.

There was no music when he opened this one.

"Well, that was considerably easier..." Timmy began to make his way back toward the entrance of the basement when he heard a distinct skittering sound and quickened his pace. _"Don't look back, __no need to look back... it's probably just... a spider! Yeah, just... one..." _Timmy looked over his shoulder to see a large swarm of spiders skittering toward him. _"Or... y'know... any army of spiders..."_

He broke out into a run. "Yep! Just some spiders! No need to look back though! Definitely not!" despite his attempts to reassure himself, Timmy chanced another look back to see the swarm still chasing him.

"What kinda mansion has a swarm of spiders as a security system?!" he broke into a full sprint now, his judgment clouded by a combination of fear and determination. "You aren't getting this pumpkin back! I need it for soup!"

What exactly had he expected? The spiders to stop chasing him and say: 'Oh, well, if he needs it, who are we to chase him and try to get it back?' they were spiders!

Timmy pushed himself even harder as he saw the door back to the rest of the house. Sprinting up the stairs, he slammed the door closed behind him just as the swarm reached him.

He stopped and leaned up against the door and heard nothing, then there was the familiar sound of skittering, and something else, something that sounded a lot like someone throwing snowballs at the door he was holding shut. He presumed it was the spiders throwing themselves against the door.

Not wanting to take any chances, he pulled a large dresser over in front of the door. "Alright, no reason to ever, _ever_ go back down there!" Timmy dusted himself off and began the long journey back to the kitchen. "I wonder if Vicky will be over the flu by the time the soup is ready?"

_Back in the living room..._

"Bored. Bored. Bored." Vicky looked over to Wanda. "I am really bored."

Wanda rolled her eyes and went back to sleep.

"Fine, be that way..." She could still feel the slight hints of her headache, and her joints felt a little uncomfortable, so getting up and walking around was out of the question. "I'm getting him back for this... if I hadn't gotten a flu shot... That's it! I'll give it to him when he gets back!" Vicky began to laugh evilly... which was quickly ended by a coughing fit.

"Okay... no evil laughing."

Timmy kicked open the kitchen door to find Cosmo levitating over the cauldron, asleep, yet still stirring the strange concoction. "Cosmo."

Cosmo snored louder in response to hearing his name.

"Cosmo!"

"Hm?! Wha?! Super toilet?!"

"Yeah... anyway, I got the pumpkin." Timmy held the miraculously undamaged pumpkin in his hands.

"Ooh! Give it here!" Cosmo moved to snatch the pumpkin away, but Timmy moved out of the way this time.

"This is it, _right_?"

"Yeah! Last ingredient, really!"

"Better be, there's no way for anyone to go back in the basement now..."

"Why not?" Cosmo diced up the pumpkin and tossed it into the pot.

"Spiders."

"Spiders?"

"Spiders." both Timmy and Cosmo shuddered at this. "So, how long 'til it's done?"

"Should be another five minutes or so."

"Perfect, thanks Cosmo!"

"You wanna taste?"

Timmy looked at the strange orange soup in the pot. The reekfish's head suddenly rose to the surface, a dead eye staring at him.

"Um... I'll... have some later, yeah..."

"Okay Timmy-" Cosmo grabbed the fish's head and ate it. "But you're missing out..."

"Yeah, I'm gonna go throw up now." Timmy ran out of the kitchen and into the living room. "Vicky?"

"Ugh..." a sound not unlike what Timmy imagined a zombie would make emanated from the couch.

"Still feeling pretty crappy, huh?"

"Uh-huh..."

"Well... the soup should be ready soon, think you'll be up to eating some?"

"My appetite isn't dead, I just feel like shit..."

"Good... um... good." truthfully, Timmy was hesitant to let his girlfriend try the soup, Cosmo may claim that it's good for when you're sick, but the myriad ingredients he put in were... odd, to say the least. "I'm just letting it simmer now, it should be done in a few minutes..."

"I'll be here... suffering."

"Hang in there..." he rubbed her shoulder reassuringly and disappeared again.

"Cosmo? How's it coming?"

"It's ready!" Cosmo was already slurping down a bowl of the bizarre soup.

"How is it?"

"Try some!" Cosmo handed Timmy the bowl he was slurping from, which currently had several different vegetables, pieces of pumpkin, and one large fish eye floating around in very cheesy smelling broth.

"Don't think so." Timmy grabbed a bowl from the cupboard and scooped some soup into it. "Here we go... I'm either gonna give her this, and she'll feel better... or I'm about to give my girlfriend a serious case of food poisoning."

Eventually, hope that she would get better(and hope that Cosmo was a good cook) won out, and Timmy made his way back to the living room once more.

"Vicky? Still awake?"

"Mmph..." came a mumble from under the blanket.

"Got your soup."

"What kind?" Vicky got up and eyed the bowl suspiciously.

"Fish- Cheese- er... Pumpkin? Yeah... pumpkin soup..."

"Pumpkin? Who the Hell makes pumpkin soup?!"

"Me." Timmy stated matter-of-factly. "Now, try some, it's... good..."

"Why don't I believe you?"

"C'mon..." Timmy took out the spoon and made airplane noises as he directed it toward Vicky's mouth.

"You first."

Timmy abruptly stopped the noises and returned the spoon to the bowl. "Um... but... this is your bowl... I... should get my own..."

"You're not leaving the couch until you taste the soup." Vicky sniffled and wiped her nose on the blanket again. "Besides, you made it for me, so why wouldn't you want to taste-test it to make sure it's done?"

"Um... because I'm positive it is?"

"Nice try- Atchoo! But I want you to taste it- Atchoo!"

"Very well..." Timmy brought the spoon up to his mouth and blew some air on it to cool it, then tasted the possibly noxious food. "Hmm... You know what? It's actually not bad!"

"Hmph... you make it sound like you weren't the one to make it..." Vicky took the bowl away and stared at it. "Spoon please?"

"Oh! Yeah... here." Timmy handed off the spoon. "And I _did_ make it, I just never made it before... got the recipe out of an old book here..."

"..." Vicky ate a few spoonfuls of the soup. "This- this is pretty good!" Vicky began eating with renewed fervor. "What's in this?"

"Er... y'know... stuff..." Timmy was currently looking everywhere but at Vicky.

"What kind of stuff?"

"Potatoes, turnips, carrots... um... goat cheese..."

"Say what now?"

"And... reekfish..."

"Reek what?!"

"And... pumpkin." Timmy scratched the back of his head. "Oh! Love too! I made it with love." _"__Hopefully something corny will get her attention off the weirder ingredients..."_

"What the Hell is reekfish?! And... goat cheese?!"

"_Apparently not."_

"Hey, you thought it was good until I told you what was in it!"

"That's because I thought it was normal! What is reekfish?!"

"It... looks like... a salmon, only bigger... and it smells... bad."

"Where'd you get it?"

"...Internet."

"You bought a fish on the internet."

"Yes?" Alright, so maybe the internet excuse wasn't the best response this time...

"And you put said fish into soup so I could get better?"

"Um... did- did it work?" Timmy was nervously backing away from her.

"Oh yeah, I feel great!"

"That's... good, right?"

"Well-" Vicky cracked her knuckles under the blanket. "On the one hand, yes, I feel much better, so thanks for that."

"You're welcome-"

"But!" Vicky threw the blanket off herself in a dramatic flourish. "On the other hand, what if that mysterious concoction that you had no prior knowledge about made me sicker? What then?"

"I don't really like where this is going..." Timmy's eyes flashed over to the hallway he was now intimately familiar with. "I... would've made you something else?"

"Oh? And what if that made me even sicker?" In all honesty, Vicky wasn't mad at him at all, she was merely filled with renewed vigor, and wished to shower him with affection.

But intimidating him like this was slightly more fun.

"I- um... Bye!" in a flash, Timmy made a break for the hall, knowing better than to look behind him. He was not currently aware that Vicky did not intend him any physical harm, though mental harm? That was a different story. Though, at the same time, it wasn't necessarily something that his conscience didn't want. _"__Hey! Don't run! She's gonna reward you!" _"Oh, now you show up? No thanks, I saw the look in her eyes!"

Timmy pulled the map from his pocket. "Let's see... I have this slight advantage at least... I'll go... here!" he pocketed the map and ran harder, then took a left.

"Twerp! Come back... I'm not gonna hurt you... physically! I promise!" _"Unless he likes it kinky!" _"Shut up, brain! I can handle this myself!" by now, Vicky was feeling more than better, she supposed the best term she could think of was 'amorous'. And to Hell with her previous worries of scarring him for life, no one gets scarred for life in these stories!

Timmy had taken refuge in one of the many rooms that Vicky had yet to even learn about, let alone find.

The pool room.

As in Swimming Pool, not billiards.

The room was rather humid, causing Timmy to remove his jacket and toss it onto one of the lawn chairs by the pool. He now hid behind what he assumed was some sort of juice or alcohol bar, given the many bottles on shelves. "Hopefully she doesn't know about this room..."

"Oh Twerp..."

"Never catch a break, damn sadistic author..."

"I see you left your coat out..."

"Ah crap..." Timmy whispered to himself.

"I wonder if you're... in the supply closet!"

He heard her open a door and get bombarded with pool floats.

"Maybe... hiding in the hot-tub?!" he heard the sound of water splashing.

"_She's just toying with me... I bet she already knows where I am..." _Timmy's suspicions were confirmed when he turned to his left and met Vicky's pink eyes.

"Who are we hiding from?" there was a playful glint in her eyes as she whispered.

"Oh, no one in particular, just my sadistic girlfriend- AHH!" Timmy jumped up and tried to run, but Vicky grabbed hold and pulled him back.

"You sound like a girl when you scream..." she pulled him closer against herself, despite his struggling.

"Wait."

He suddenly stopped.

"Aren't you mad? Weren't you going to kill me?"

"Why would I be mad?"

"I thought- the soup... and..."

"Nah... you took care of me, I feel so much better now..."

"Oh..."

"Now... I just want to repay the kindness... If you know what I mean..."

He didn't.

"Um... you want a hug?"

"Perhaps... but I was thinking of something... more..."

Timmy's face turned red and his voice fell into a whisper. "Kissing?" at twelve years old, he still wasn't particularly well-versed in the ways of flirting.

"_Aw... he's so cute when he's all innocent like this... It's gonna be fun corrupting him!" _"Yeah..." Vicky pushed him to the floor with one hand, then propped herself up over him, her hands on either side of his head.

"Um... are we... is this... What are we doing?" his nervousness made way for genuine confusion.

Vicky smirked and leaned down to whisper something into his ear, when she leaned back up, the left shoulder of her tank-top fell down, leaving it bare. "If you're having second thoughts, now's the time to get away..."

Timmy glanced around, then surprised her by staying where he was, curiosity and his less than pure conscience getting the better of him.

Vicky descended lower so her forehead rested against his. "You sure...?"

Timmy's face darkened considerably with a blush, but he managed to squeak out an 'mm-hm' after swallowing nervously.

"Aw... my little Twerp is growing up..."

Any retort Timmy might have had was silenced as Vicky's lips covered his.


End file.
